Breakup: The End Of The Relation 💔 Between Two People

It’s a helping hand for those who are going through such a phase lately…

We often think that a breakup is a separation between two people who are involved romantically. But that’s not the case. It occurs between friends too.

What is “Breakup”?

Breakup is the termination of any relation. We often hear that nothing hurts more than a breakup. That may be true because it leads to the mental breakdown of two people though nothing seems to be broken from outside. Whether the breakup is related to a relationship or friendship, only if a person has experienced it in real, then they may explain it to some extent.

The ‘Wow’ feeling which we experience when our relationship or friendship is new, a similar level of pain and gloominess is felt when it ends.

The pain of separation is only experienced by those who have loved someone a lot and now the same person is not part of their life. It is one of the worst feelings as we are helpless because the bond that we shared before isn’t the same. Breakups happen. Though ending a friendship or a relationship is pretty difficult but separation leading to mental peace and stability is worth it.

📌Basic causes of the breakup-

1. Trust issues.

2. Lack of reliability.

3. Misunderstanding and miscommunication.

4. Jealousy and possessiveness.

5. Lack of emotional support.

Whatever may be the cause, the one who wants to stay will always find the way and will try to fix things to keep up. But this has to happen from both sides. If the efforts are one-sided then there are chances that the friendship or relationship won’t last long. It will stay as long as we try to fix it, the day we stop trying, might be the last day of that relation. And such relations are toxic and aren’t meant to stay longer.

No matter what kind of relationship we share, trust, understanding and loyalty are a must. When there is complete trust between two people, there’s no place for doubts or interrogation. As the understanding increases, expectation decreases. Loyalty refers to the feeling of mutual obligation, honesty, and commitment.

How can one know if they are in a toxic relationship?

There’s always insecurity and fear of losing our beloved one thus, we always try to hide the truth. We don’t express our real feelings. We don’t reveal our dark side and speak only about things that would make them stay with us. At times we blame ourselves or even others for the toxicity or fights. We always carry the burden of maintaining it and this is the worst mindset that we carry.

But we shouldn’t forget that such toxic relations won’t last long. It may end anytime.

Moving on is not an easy thing, but closure may help us. We shouldn’t end things while we are still having questions in our minds. A closure is a must for ending the relationship mutually. And for that one must –

1. Talk to the person directly, and discuss what went wrong. If they don’t want to communicate then better pen down your feelings and convey them via some mutual friend. If they do not respond then understand and respect their reason, maintain peace with them and with yourself.

2. Forgive them because forgiveness is the attribute of the strong, the weak can never forgive. Be proud of your kind heart, not everyone has it. Nothing is better than being kind to those who have damaged us and being grateful as we are going to level up because of the new experience. Don’t curse Or be an ill-wisher for someone who was important in your life and meant the world to you.

3. Don’t get mad at them Or yourself. Sometimes the situations are meant to happen that way and as you have given all your efforts to keep up then you may live your life guilt-free.

4. No matter what, always stay honest & real. The weak one will never be able to accept the genuineness and that’s completely okay.

5. Try to fix things for yourself.

One cannot get rid of the pain unless we stop playing blame-game. Try to accept the situation and remember difficulties won’t come to your life to make you weak, sad or broken, it comes to make you stronger and wiser. Save the good times in your memories and try to forget the bad ones but remember the lessons that you have learned. Live in the moment. Don’t get stuck on the past, it will only deepen the pain and refresh the wounds and hamper your healing. Have courage.

Breaking up is hard. A study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology has found that a relationship breakup may feel so painful as it activates the part of the brain associated with depression, pain and addiction cravings. The pain is equal to losing an organ or a part of your body.

So let’s see what may help us to get over a breakup?

1. Talk to friends and family and others who can support you.

2. Try not to use alcohol, drugs, etc to deal with the pain.

3. Do the things that you love or always wanted to do but never got a chance or time. Indulge in various hobbies.

4. If you cannot speak about it, then pen down your feelings as it may lighten your burden and make you feel like a free bird.

5. Be kind to yourself. Don’t blame yourself for what has happened. Avoid the things that make you feel worse.

6. If their presence or appearance makes you feel uncomfortable or induce pain then better cut off the contact.

7. Accept your emotions and love yourself more.

8. Allow time to wallow. If someone has been part of your life for a long time, it is hard to imagine your life without them. Yes! it’s pretty hard but not impossible so keep on trying to make things better for yourself.

9. Try mediation. Attach inward to detach with what is outward. It will help you in controlling your thoughts and thus, render peace.

10. Enhance the positive vibes within by reading or watching motivational stuff. Talk to an optimistic person, help the needy or connect with your family and old buddies.

If none of the above helps you then don’t be ashamed of seeking the help of the experts. Right guidance will help you but the wrong ones will mislead you & may worsen things.

All these may ease your pain and help you to some extent. But in the end, it’s all about acceptance. Once you accept things as they are, your mind will start supporting you. It may take time. Suggestions and motivations are always around us, but unless we accept them, take efforts to change and make up our minds, things may keep on hurting us. In any such situation, don’t ask why rather ask what is it trying to teach me? Is it surfacing my unhealed parts? Or upgrading me to a better version? If you learn then you will earn a good livelihood and experience from it. If you just keep on questioning then the events may repeat.

Don’t lose hope. Although it’s not an easy process, surely you can overcome it somehow as we are stronger than we think. Cry out your pain. It’s completely fine to express your emotions in tears. Don’t try to control them, but once you are done, don’t cry for the same reason again. Try to practice gratitude. It’s not the separation but the suffering that makes our life tough. Remember the only constant thing is Change. Every person and place needs to change or get replaced for our betterment. So keep in mind that nothing lasts forever and this may help you to live every moment, event and even relation to the fullest without being bound to attachments and sufferings.

Someone asked- How can I unlove someone without feeling hatred?

I say be neutral.

Being neutral is just unloving him/her without any hatred.

Learn the art of unlove.

You always think If you don’t love someone now so that means you hate them. But you’ve to understand that not loving someone anymore doesn’t mean you have to hate them. We’ve known how to love and hate, but we don’t know that we can also unlove someone without carrying hatred for them. So you can unlove someone by being neutral.

How to be neutral?

1. Stop considering them as important people. Paying less attention to their words or actions can surely help you.

2. Don’t block instead make yourself so strong that their message, story or post no longer excites you or bothers you and try not to message or remain unaffected by seeing their stories or posts. Healing comes from feeling.

3. Badly Missing them?

It’s completely fine missing someone whom you knew so long, so miss them but without wanting them back. You can’t really move on if you are still hoping to come back in your life.

4. Accept that you can’t force a connection. If they’ve already given you a red flag. Then think even if you convince them to talk to you. What’s the point of that kind of friendship or relationship.

5. They are not part of your life doesn’t mean they are bad. But it just means they are not for you. Even you are not for everyone. To accept the reality. Cherish the good times and say goodbye.

Self-respect and self-love are the most important. Don’t consider yourself toxic or bad just because someone doesn’t value your love doesn’t mean it is unworthy.

The right person can surely value it. Just wait for the right person and the right time.

I know It’s hard to unlove your beloved person but it possible to unlove someone who doesn’t value your love. So If you really want to unlove them. Must do these things. All the best 👍 because only you can do it for yourself.

The blog is not just for reading and feeling good but also for implementing it. It’s a helping hand for those who are going through such a phase lately and even for those who are in a happy relationship as it teaches us basic facts of any relation.

Always love yourself first. An empty jug cannot even fill the smallest of glass. Hence, if you are devoid of love for yourself then how will pour it for someone else.

Accept things as they come and go. Cheers to the ones who are present and be grateful for the lessons taught by the ones who have left.

“If you want to glow, then go with the flow” — Shanu Dodani

Thank you for reading. If you find it helpful, kindly share it with your loved ones and I would love to read your views in the comment box below.